"You don't knoooooow me!"
"Then let me get to know you, dammit!"
Bob: "Man, Season 456 really went downhill."
Captain Fury: "Ahem."
President Bob the Unbuilder: "Oh. Come in."
Captain Fury: "Rumors about that Ragnablok stuff have been making the rounds at base. Do you believe it?"
Bob: "Yeah. This is the Brikverse, after all. There's always some kinda apocalypse coming at us. Hell, we're pretty much living in one already. Who'd be surprised if it gets worse?"
Bob:"Will you move? You're blocking the screen."
Captain Fury: "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be making our escape plans, like you did last time?"
Bob: "Eh. The scientists and engineers can pretty much handle it by now. I told 'em everything we know and they'll call me when they come up with a plan, or if something needs killing."
Captain Fury: "What the hell is wrong with you? This is our impending annihilation we're talking about, and you don't give a shit?"
Bob: "Fine. You know what? I'm tired of running. We ran from the Pwnies and they found us again. We hid from the Britannians and the Immortals and they still managed to fuck up our planet. And now we're stuck hiding out in the few pockets of stable reality on a planet covered in Tang. Dammit, but I don't want to run away again."
Captain Fury: "So what do you want to do?"
Bob: "..."
"Warhead... that skeletal Immortal motherfucker... he's the one responsible for Third Impact. And if I could, I'd use the chaos of Ragnablok to hunt down every single one of his shards and slaughter them. Horribly."
Captain Fury: "See, that? That sounds like a plan. So why aren't you doing it?"
Bob: "Because they'd just get back up again! Warhead is an Immortal, and Immortals are... fucking Immortal! What's the point of enacting murderous vengeance on someone if they'll be fine a couple months later?"
Captain Fury: "Isn't this usually about the time when you raise some fuck-off huge construction apparatus converted into a weapon and charge the laws of reality head-on, shouting 'FUCK YES WE CAN!'?"
Bob: "Ordinarily I would. But millions have tried to find a way to make Immortals stay dead, and they've all failed. This isn't even a law, it's more like a universal constant. You can't kill an Immortal."
*KSHHHHHHT*
Bob: "...the hell?"
"Hello. My name is President Austin..."
awesome dude
