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| The Blue Imperials |
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Here is the battlefield at the beginning of the Imperials' second turn. |
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| The grey ninja hefts his mighty axe and attempts to chop down a bamboo stalk. The axe hits the stalk and bounces off, creating a loud gong sound and causing the ninja to wobble and vibrate as if he were in a Saturday morning cartoon. The ninja then uses a Stupendous Feat to rip the bamboo stalk out of the ground by brute force. He fails the roll, and succeeds only in giving himself a grievous lower back injury. Meanwhile, the foot samurai begin lifting each other up to the top of the hill. The first one up focuses his Chi and cuts down a bamboo stalk in one clean slice. He kicks the stalk over to the roof of the east wall. |
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| The Imperial gunners round the edge of the hill and take aim at the bandit gunner on the wall. The bandit gunner takes opportunity fire at the officer. Both the officer and the bandit are hit and wounded, but neither is killed. |
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Two of the mounted samurai hop off their steeds and attack the door with their naginata. Mike laughs at this act, since even if the samurai are able to overcome the armor of the doors then they'll only make a very small hole, hardly enough to allow any of them to fit through. The first samurai makes his attack and succeeds, cutting a deep gash through the door. He then pokes his spear through the gash and uses it to lift up the bar on the other side that is holding the door closed. Mike stops laughing. |
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| One of the samurai archers uses his horse to climb up onto the southwest wall, now that the porter's corpse is no longer in the way. The second porter and the archer fire at each other, but both miss. The porter's shot misses so badly that it hits the ninja hiding nearby, who is angered but is not killed. |
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| The Imperial cannon squad runs around in circles shouting. Fortunately, none of the men have caught on fire. The two torch-bearers are so angry that they throw their torches at the shrubbery at the base of the west wall, hoping to start a fire. The first succeeds, and a fire immediately blazes up among the bushes. The second fails miserably, only managing to throw his torch a few measley feet. How embarassing! |
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| Peasant Rabble |
| The doctor continues heading for the downed bandit porter, whose corpse has been badly mistreated. He is unperturbed by the fact that he cannot possibly reach the victim in time to render aid. "There'll be plenty more by the time I get there," he comments to his peasant posse. |
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| The Red Bandits |
| The ninja in the stump suddenly bursts forth, giving the mounted officer a terrible fright. Before the officer can raise a defense, the ninja jumps up and cuts the officer neatly in two. Fearing retaliation from the ashigaru gunners, he grabs the side of the officer's saddle and takes cover behind the horse's body. Giving the horse a swift kick in the rump, he prepares to make his escape. |
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| The ninja on the west wall, still laughing about blowing up the gunpowder cart, leaps down to attack the officer formerly in charge of the cannons. This officer keeps his wits about him, however, and after a brief struggle manages to chop the ninja's head right off. |
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| Both ninjas run out and attempt to kill the archer; both fail and return to their hiding places in the tower. The porter on the southwest wall decides that it would take too long to reload his flintlock pistol and instead jumps up and grabs hold of the cannon. He gives the cannon a mighty push, trying to knock the samurai archer off the wall. The archer manages to dodge the clumsy attack, grabbing hold of a ladder and swinging himself out over empty space. It seems that this archer cannot be killed. You'd almost have to collapse a building on this guy to get him. |
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The remaining bandit troops begin moving into action. The two sumo abandon their match and leave the protective tatami mat. The ronin heads over to the northeast wall to find out what the Imperial foot samurai are up to. The gunner and both sohei join the porter with the ammo cart and help him push it towards the front door. "What are you doing with that ammo cart?" asks Joe. "I'm just trying to block the doorway," says Mike, and Joe foolishly believes him. The porter on the west wall, deprived of his favorite torch, runs over to the nearby cannon where a loaded pistol is mounted. Grabbing the pistol, he dives into a prone position, hoping to gain a little cover. |
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| The Black Dragon |
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Just then, Dave gets home from his class and an evil presence suddenly appears on the battlefield. A black-clad army of sohei fighting monks and ninja, led by a sorceror and a mysterious mounted warrior shrouded in dark robes, rush in from the southeast. |
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The sorceror immediately weaves a powerful spell. The spell magically enhances the speed, power, and strength of a mounted evil sohei. The spell also gives the sohei a Supernaturally Loud Voice with Musical Backup. Imperials and bandits alike quake in terror as the sohei bursts into a perfect rendition of 'You Drive Me Crazy' by Brittney Spears. Without losing a beat, the sohei rushes forward with supernatural speed and clobbers the Imperial gunners with his two-section staff. The first gunner is completely splattered, barely living long enough to compose a final haiku about how a death induced by massive blunt trauma is vastly preferable to listening to Brittney Spears' music for even a second longer. The second gunner miraculously survives the attack but is knocked into the deep pit at the top of Crapp Hill. |
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The sorceror casts a second spell, but does not spend enough SP on range so the spell falls short of its target and dissipates. Meanwhile, the mysterious hooded warrior charges forward. As the wind whips at his cloak, the hood is blown back and the face beneath is revealed to be... a dreaded Timmy Lord! This unnatural creature begins summoning Timmy Minions from the ether. These unholy creatures are rife with Timmy Venom; a single bite from a Timmy Minion can eventually turn a victim into a heinous Timmy. The Timmy Lord also carries a supply of venomous scorpions in his saddlebag. He grabs one of these and throws it at the red ninja hanging off the side of the white horse. Fortunately, he blows the attack roll and hits his own newly-summoned Minion. Due to the power of the throw, both the Minion and the scorpion are splattered and killed instantly. |
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| Back to Round One | |||