Chapter H: The Horse
Prancing in Posies

"A man that don't love a horse, there is something the matter with him."
- Will Rogers

In all the history of warfare there is no nobler creature than the horse. Whether hauling chariots, powering a heavy cavalry charge, carrying supplies and communications through harsh terrain, or simply running in and out of danger in the service of mounted troops, a horse brings strength and mobility to a military force that no man or vehicle can match. Without the spirited assistance of these magnificent animals in the pre-industrial ages, even the greatest wars would have consisted of little more than a bunch of guys wandering around listlessly and bleeding.

If you continue on to the next book (Book Two: MOC Combat), you'll see that BrikWars has rules that allow players to do battle with literally any creature or vehicle they can build out of bricks or other toys. However, in many classic battle genres, horses (or their close equivalents) are the only significant animals or vehicles on the field, making the extensive custom Creations rules unnecessary. This intermediate chapter lets players jump straight into equestrian warfare with quick and dirty stats for horses in combat. The Horse rules can either serve as a lighter introduction to handling Special Creations, or as a shortcut to allow less-ambitious players to avoid the hassle of the advanced rules entirely.



H.1: The Horse

Horse
(Download the Horse card)

In BrikWars, a Horse isn't necessarily any specific type of animal; instead it's a blanket category for any single-passenger steed or vehicle that's roughly horse-sized. A horse is a Horse, of course, perforce; but so is a gryphon, a motorcycle, a magic carpet, or a small-sized dragon.


Horse Abilities
A unit in the Horse category has roughly the same abilities that you'd expect from real-world horse, and its Skill, Move, and Armor statistics are used in the same way as a minifig's. Common sense will dictate whether a given type of Horse can perform acts like swimming, Sprinting, climbing ladders, or hauling chariots. In the rare case where common sense is insufficient, a What I Say Goes roll will clear up any confusion.

Skill Skill: 1d6 - see 4.2: Action
A Horse uses Skill for the same kinds of tasks a minifig would, as far as it's able.

The main difference between a Horse's Skill and that of a minifig is that a Horse is a Submissive creature and can only perform useful tasks while under a minifig's direction. While being ridden or led, a Horse is completely obedient to its chosen master.

If its master is killed, wanders off, or is otherwise absent, a loose Horse briefly remains under the control of its Human player. If none of his minifigs have managed to take control of the Horse by the end of the turn, then the player must hand control of the Horse over to one of his Enemies. On the Enemy's turn, the Enemy can direct the Horse to take either a Movement or an Action - not both. If none of his minifigs have taken control of the Horse by the end of the turn, then he must in turn hand control of the Horse to one of his own Enemies. The cycle continues until some minifig manages to take the reins, or until the Horse is killed or otherwise removed from battle.

When a minifig rider directs his Horse to take any Action requiring a Skill roll (preferably an Attack), the player rolls either the Horse's Skill or the rider's, whichever is lower. In the rare case in which a Horse takes Actions of its own accord, only its own Skill is used, of course. No Horse is intelligent enough to use equipment items or operate machinery, although a properly harnessed Horse or team of Horses can haul a wheeled cart or chariot up to twice as many inches in Size as the number of Horses pulling it (7.1: Structure).

Horse Weapons
Weapon Cost Use Range Damage Notes
Unarmed Attack - 2 CC 1d6 Cannot be used to Parry

By default, a Horse is able to make an Unarmed Attack if it has the proper body parts to do so. (For Horses of the regular equine variety, these attacks will be in the form of kicks or bites. For more exotic Horses, these might take the form of tail stings, claw swipes, or tentacle whips.) A Horse's Unarmed Attack is roughly equivalent to a minifig's Hand Weapon, except that it can't be used to Parry. It's a Close Combat weapon with a Use rating of 2 and a Damage rating of 1d6.

Not all Horses have the proper appendages to Shove opponents (although any Horse can go around Crashing into them in a pinch (H.3: Fighting From Horseback)). For those that do, a Horse's Shove is more powerful than a minifig's. A minifig has a -2 Skill Penalty when trying to resist a Shove from a Horse; Horses Shove other Horses as normal. When minifigs try to Shove Horses in return, a minifig working alone can't Shove a Horse at all. It takes two minifigs together to try to Shove a Horse, and the Shove fails if the Horse's roll to Parry successfully resists either one of them.

Horse Shoving Example: Cow Tipping
Example: Cattle mutilations work best on cows that are pre-tipped, so two alien minifig Grays have been sent on a night mission to prepare the livestock for abduction. They locate a likely Cow standing in the pasture and approach it cautiously.

Grays' turn 1:
The Grays approach the first Cow from the side. (Shoving a Cow from the front or rear is unlikely to result in a successful tipping.) This Cow is asleep and doesn't attempt to Parry; the Shoves are Automatic Hits, and the Cow is tilted two inches. This is enough to topple it over.

Grays' turn 2:
Emboldened by their success, the Grays approach a second Cow. This time, their unfamiliarity with Earth herbivores betrays them: this Cow is a Bull, and it's wide awake. The Bull actively resists their Shoves, so the Grays must make Attack Rolls.

Because the Bull is treated as a type of Horse, both of the Grays' Shoves must succeed in order to be successful. The first Gray Shoves with Skill:1d6, rolling a 5. The second rolls a 3.

The Bull is Outnumbered two to one, so he has a -1 Skill Penalty. In addition, the Bull declares his intention to Parry and Riposte with an enraged moo, adding an additional -1 Penalty to Skill and Damage.

The Bull rolls a 5 to Parry on his Skill of 1d6; this is reduced to 3 by the Skill Penalties. It's not enough to Parry the first Gray's Shove, but it's enough to match the second Gray's, and so the Bull is able to stand his ground. He successfully Ripostes with his horns, brutally goring the second Gray and putting an end to their Cow-tipping adventures.

MoveMove: 10" - see 4.1: Movement
For minifigs, Horses, and other animals, Movement is an unrestricted affair. They can spend their Move inches however they like, running and jumping back and forth along any arbitrarily complex zigzag. Like minifigs, a Horse running in a straight line can Sprint, spending its Action to add 1d6 inches to its straight-line Movement.

Players may decide that a particular Horse may not be able to hop around as freely, for instance if it's hauling a load or wearing roller skates. These situations are left for the players to handle as they see fit.

ArmorArmor: 1d6 - see Chapter 3: Minifig Weapons
A Horse's Armor works in similar fashion to a minifig's: an attacking unit must do enough Damage to exceed the Horse's Armor in order to have any effect. The difference is that a Horse takes two hits to kill rather than one.

The first time that Damage from an attack exceeds a Horse's Armor, attach a Damage Pip (usually a red 1x1 brick) to the Horse somewhere prominently visible to indicate that the Horse has been Wounded. When a Horse is Wounded, it loses 1" of Move (to 9"), 1d6 from its maximum Momentum or Physical Opposition in a Charge (to a new maximum of 1 MOM or POP), and its ability to Shove and resist Shoves is reduced to that of a regular minifig.

If Damage from an attack exceeds the Armor of a Horse that's already been Wounded, or if a Horse takes enough Damage to exceed its Armor twice over (effectively taking two hits in a single attack), then the Horse is killed in whatever grisly fashion seems appropriate.

Horse Damage
Status Move Max MOM/POP
Undamaged 10" 2
Wounded 9" 1
Dead 0" 0
Horse Armor
Equipment Cost Use Range Effect Notes
Horse Body Armor 2CP - - Armor 1d10 Move -2", can't swim
Horse Heavy Armor 4CP - - Shielded Half Speed

Like a minifig, a Horse may be equipped with Body Armor or Heavy Armor to boost its defenses. Regular Horse Body Armor covers the Horse's body but not the head. It costs 2CP and raises the Horse's Armor rating to 1d10, although the Horse's Move is reduced by 2" and it loses the ability to Swim. Horse Heavy Armor covers both the body and head. It costs 4CP and makes the horse Shielded from damage (3.3: Bodily Protection), at the cost of reducing the Horse's Movement to Half Speed. Just as for minifigs, Half Speed means that the Horse cannot swim, climb, fly, or engage in any other type of Half Speed Movement (4.1: Movement).


Horse Varieties
Horse Varieties
Variety Cost Effect
Steel Horse +0CP Armor:1d10
no Mind, Skill, or Angry Inch
Flying Horse +5CP Move: 10" Flight
no Horse Armor
Cost:+10CP for Steel Horses
Gun Horse +3CP Gun: Use:3 Range:6" Damage:1d6

Units in the Horse category have abilities similar to any regular horse. The only distinctions made are for those varieties of Horses that are unthinking machines or constructs (the Steel Horse), those that have an ability to fly (the Flying Horse), those that are equipped with some kind of ranged weapon (the Gun Horse), or any combination of those three (for instance, a WWI Sopwith Camel would be a Steel Flying Gun Horse). When the abilities of a Horse unit start to drift too far from one of these standard templates, players should go ahead and advance to the full MOC Combat rules to make their own custom units (Book Two: MOC Combat).
  • neon green is the new black
    An alien Assault Triker prepares for raiding.
    Assault Trike: 9 CP
    (Horse: 9 CP, Steel: +0 CP)
    Elements shown: LEGO
    A Steel Horse (Cost: +0CP) is any Horse-sized machine or animated construction that lacks a mind of its own and carries one or fewer passengers. A Steel Horse has no Mind or Skill rating, and is incapable of taking independent Actions.

    Due to their mechanical construction, Steel Horses have an augmented Armor rating of 1d10, which grants them a much greater ability to do Damage in a Crash than their squishy biological equivalents (H.3: Fighting From Horseback). This comes in handy, since most mechanical Steel Horses lack the appendages that would allow them to make Close Combat Attacks.

    When abandoned by its rider, a Steel Horse mostly just sits there, unless it was in motion at the time of the rider's departure. In this case, the Steel Horse continues moving forward at for one round for half its Move before coasting to a stop. (Common sense may dictate otherwise in some cases - abandoned airplanes in flight also come to a stop, but the process by which this occurs is referred to as "crashing" rather than "coasting.")

    Examples: Motorcycles, golems, mini-tanks, mini-planes, tricycles, jeeps

  • look, up in the sky!
    Only the undead Sea Zombies would think that Winged Swordfishes are a good idea for a combat vehicle.
    Winged Swordfish : 14 CP
    (Horse: 9 CP, Flying: +5 CP)
    Elements shown: LEGO, Mega Bloks
    A Flying Horse (Cost: +5CP, or +10CP for a Flying Steel Horse) is any Horse with the ability to fly. This is indicated by placing stacks of blocks underneath them to raise them to their default altitude of five inches above ground. Transparent elements work best for this, since the support column doesn't represent anything in-game other than the Flying Horse's shadow, but any elements can be used. A Flying Horse uses its Move inches to travel vertically, horizontally, or at any angle in between, the same way that a regular Minifig moves along the ground.

    Theoretically, Flying Horses can fly high enough to be out of vertical range of enemy ranged weapons, making them immune to attack as they rain down damage on their foes. This is extremely poor sportsmanship, and players should be ashamed of themselves for even considering it. To combat this, Flying Horses are Koincidentally unable to make attacks on targets more than five inches below their current altitude.

    Flying Horses cannot wear Horse Body Armor, due to the added weight. A Flying Steel Horse retains the Steel Horse's Armor rating of 1d10, but costs +10CP rather than +5CP.

    Examples: Pegasi, speeder bikes, mini-copters, giant eagles, hang gliders

  • even cavemen love Freud
    Gun-Ceratops serves as dino-based artillery.
    Gun-Ceratops: 12 CP
    (Horse: 9 CP, Gun: +3 CP)
    Elements shown: LEGO, custom
    A Gun Horse (Cost: +3CP) is any Horse with built-in ranged weapons. Whether from eye lasers, fiery breath, or machine guns, all Gun Horse Guns have the same weapon stats.

    Horse Weapons
    Weapon Cost Use Range Damage Notes
    Gun 3CP 3 6" 1d6 -

    Putting a Gun on a Horse doesn't replace any Close Combat abilities it may or may not have, but remember that Horses, like minifigs, can only make one type of attack per turn.

    Examples: Fire dragons, cannon carts, ice dragons, snub spacefighters, lightning dragons, rainbow ponies, laser dragons




H.2: Riding a Horse

The only way to fly

"Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of Solitaire. It is a grand passion."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


Action Cost
Horses and other vehicles are more like equipment items than independent units; they need a minifig in control in order to be utilized properly. This control isn't free.

A minifig riding a Horse can spend his Action to control it. A minifig in control of a Horse can direct its Movement and, when appropriate, direct the Horse to either make one Attack (such as kicking with its hooves or firing its main cannon) or to take a single Action (such as Sprinting) of its own.

Because controlling a Horse costs a minifig's Action, normal minifigs cannot control a Horse and make Attacks on the same turn (except the Horse's own Attacks). However, if a minifig controlling a Horse is defending in Close Combat, both the minifig and the Horse may use all their Counters as normal.

  • Horse Movement
    Because Horses lack independent initiative, the default movement for any Horse is to continue doing exactly what it was already doing on the previous turn. Unless a minifig spends his Action to direct the Horse's movement, the Horse will move in whatever direction it is facing, at the same speed it was traveling on its previous turn. If the undirected Horse runs into an obstacle, it will leap or climb over it if possible (to a maximum height equal to the Horse's legs or wheels); otherwise it will be stopped and possibly crash (H.3: Fighting From Horseback).

    If a minifig is in a position to direct a Horse's movement, and uses his Action to do so, then the Horse moves as quickly and nimbly as its propulsion type would reasonably allow. A motorcycle-type Horse, for instance, isn't able to jump sideways the way a horse-type Horse can, or to cross rivers with the same ease as a speedboat-type Horse.

    If a Horse is running in a straight line, it can be directed to Sprint like a minifig (4.1: Movement ), adding 1d6" to its Move for the turn.

  • Horse Action
    A minifig might also use his Action to direct a Horse to take an Action of its own. In most cases this will be an attack, especially for Gun Horses, but it might also be used in cases where a Horse has a special device or ability the minifig would like to make use of. A Horse may take an Angry Inch as part of a Close Combat Attack (5.2: Close Combat ), if it's a type of Horse that's capable of being Angry.

    When making Horse Actions, whenever a Skill Roll is called for, the lower of the Skill ratings of either the minifig or the Horse is used. (In the case of a Steel Horse, only the minifig's Skill applies.)

  • Minifig Action
    Instead of directing the Horse, a minifig may make any of the usual types of Actions available to him, usually to attack with a hand weapon. Without any further direction, the Horse is left to continue running along in blissful ignorance.

The Rider
The Rider
(Download the Rider card)

While every minifig has the basic level of skill required to operate a Horse, few have the training and experience to excel at it. The Rider is an experienced horseman who moves as naturally on horseback as on his own two feet - and in some cases, even more so.

Horsemanship
Horsemanship Specialty (+1CP): control a Horse and make an attack from horseback as part of a single Action
The Rider's advantage is simple: where lesser minifigs must choose between using their Action to control a Horse or using it to make attacks with their own minifig weapons, the Rider can do both. Using a single Action, the Rider can steer a Horse and combine both the Horse's weapons and his own as part of a single attack.

In Close Combat, a skilled Rider and Horse are so closely bonded that they fight as a single unit. They can Counter for each other when attacked, making them especially deadly against melee attackers, since an attack on one draws Counters from both.



H.3: Fighting From Horseback
For the most common types of combat, making attacks from atop a Horse is the same as making attacks on foot. Minifigs on horseback check their weapon ranges and make their Attack and Damage Rolls exactly as usual.

The two areas in which a Horse's decreased maneuverability and increased size can make a difference, respectively, are in Close Combat and during a Charge.

Getting Carried Away
It's not always as easy for minifigs to coordinate Movement and Action while on Horseback as it is while on foot. In many cases where Close Combat would normally force a minifig to stop and fight, and even sometimes when he would prefer to, his Horse will keep on running away with him even as he's in the midst of trading blows.

Normally, if a minifig in Close Combat attempts to Withdraw (5.2: Close Combat), his opponent gets one free Counter against the Withdrawal when he lets his guard down to flee. However, if a minifig is still trying to fight when he's transported out of Close Combat by a Horse (or by any other means, like the KnockBack from an Explosion), he can escape without having to go through the usual Withdrawal pains. This is called Getting Carried Away. As long as a minifig is using its Action for the turn to focus on Close Combat, his guard is never let down, and his opponent gets no free Counter when he's Carried Away. (If the Horse is also involved in the Close Combat, then the Horse may be treated as Withdrawing, even if the minifig isn't.) If the minifig has to use his Action to direct the Horse to leave, then it's treated as a normal Withdrawal and he's subject to a Counter as usual.

For normal minifigs, this means that Close Combat from Horseback can be a difficult affair, since they can't steer a Horse and attack with their own weapons in the same turn. They're limited to either maneuvering their Horses into combat position and attacking with one of the Horse's weapons, or taking individual swings as the Horse runs straight past a target because they spent their Action on attacking rather than on telling the Horse to stop.

For a trained Rider, on the other hand, mounted Close Combat is ideal. Steering doesn't cost him any Actions, and he can have himself Carried Away at will. This allows Riders to duck in and out of Close Combat as often as they please, while the poor foot soldiers remain hopelessly mired in whatever random melee happens to befall them.

Crashing and Trampling
Despite the efforts of Hollywood, a tragic number of adults have forgotten a truth that's obvious to any first-grader: vehicles are nice for driving around, but their true purpose is crashing into things, and the faster you crash them, the better. This makes the most sense with mechanical vehicles like jeeps, airplanes, and star destroyers, but hand those young prodigies a toy horse or dinosaur and you'll see exactly the same thing happen.

Like a minifig, a Horse that Charges in a straight line for four inches builds up one MOM worth of Momentum (5.4: Charge!). However, because the Horse is twice as large, with a little more wind-up it can potentially build up twice as much power. If a Horse extends its Charge to eight inches, its Momentum increases to two MOMs. (Assuming it's not Wounded, that is - a Wounded Horse is limited to one MOM no matter how far it Charges.) As usual, each MOMcan be spent to add +1d6 to the Damage from an attack with a Charging Weapon, to the Attack Roll in a Shove, or the KnockBack in a Collision.

Crashing
Minifigs who run around crashing into things have a pretty minimal effect, except where plate glass windows or fine china are involved. Even in plate armor, their bodies are too small and soft to make effective projectiles without loading them into a cannon or catapult first (8.4: Heavy Explosives). The same is true for most Horses, whose soft fleshy bodies make them inappropriate for use as a ramming weapon.

Steel Horses, on the other hand, are perfect for the job. In a Collision with any amount of Momentum, an object hitting or being hit by a Steel Horse takes 1d6 Crash Damage. When two Steel Horses Crash into each other, they each take 1d6 Crash Damage.

Crash Damage is cumulative with any other Damage dealt out as part of a Charge, and can only be Parried with a Shield. Crashing requires no Skill Roll; a unit trying to collide with a target always succeeds unless the target manages to Bail out of the way.

Trampling
Minifigs are smaller than Horses, and therefore it's natural for Horses to want to stomp on them. Trampling is a means for a Horse to add insult to injury. If a minifig is lying on the ground Disrupted (4.3: Enemy Response), possibly as a result of being Knocked Back by a Charging Horse, then the Horse can Run Over the prone minifig for one additional point of Damage. Obviously a single point of Damage isn't enough to kill any regular minifig, but, cumulative with other injuries the minifig may have sustained during the Charge, the final additional point can sometimes make the needed difference.

Any number of Horses can Trample a Disrupted minifig in a single turn, but each does its point of Damage only once. Running the same Horse back and forth over a minifig a dozen times is funny but has no extra effect.

Horses do no damage to other Horses with Trampling, because they're the same size. Again, it's still funny to watch them run over each other regardless.

KnockBack
While their higher potential Momentum increases Horses' ability to send opponents flying, their extra stability also makes them more resistant to KnockBack inches when they get Knocked Back themselves.

All Horses start with two POPs; this is reduced to one POP if they're Wounded. As with minifigs, a Charging attacker's Momentum roll must exceed this Physical Opposition in order for the Horse to be Knocked Back.

Like minifigs, Horses take one point of Smash Damage for each inch of KnockBack prevented by immovable obstacles or objects its own size or larger. Smaller objects simply get Knocked Back along with the Horse.

Even if a Horse is successfully Knocked Back, it only becomes Disrupted if the KnockBack is larger than the width or length of the Horse from that direction. Because most Horses are longer than they are wide, it's easier to knock them over from the side (where they may be less than an inch wide from right to left) than from the front or the back (along which axis they're likely to be two inches in length or more). A Horse that's Knocked Back any distance less than or equal to this length less simply lands on its feet and is ready to keep fighting as usual. A Horse that's Knocked Back further than this length lands on its side and is Disrupted. A Horse Knocked Back twice this length lands upside-down and Disrupted, possibly allowing upside-down Trample Damage to its own passengers.

If a Horse and a target are Charging each other at the same time, each spends its one or two MOMs to buy d6es of KnockBack inches as usual, with the winner's roll being used for KnockBack and the loser's for Physical Opposition. In the case where the losing Horse had only one MOM to spend for 1d6" KnockBack, but still has its full two POPs, it can roll a second d6 to bring its total Physical Opposition up to 2d6.

Size really does matter
A Jousting unit with a shorter lance may feel the need to compensate with a more impressive ride.
Elements shown: Mega Bloks, LEGO, Little Armory

Jousting
Jousting is the most characteristic attack of the mounted horseman, and it combines the fun of a mounted Close Combat attack with the calamity of a Crash. In a Jousting attack, a minifig with a Charging Weapon (normally a spear or lance, although any Charging Weapon will do (5.4: Charge!)) uses the power of his Horse's Charge to do heavy damage to a target - frequently another minifig on Horseback, and often one who's Jousting right back at him.

Lances
While any Charging Weapon can be used for Jousting, a long lance is the preferred tool, because lining up a Joust attack can be tricky if the point of the weapon doesn't extend past the nose of the Horse. For a minifig on foot, a Two-Handed polearm like a lance normally requires two hands and costs an inch of Movement, but the power of a Charging Horse allows a Jousting minifig to weid a lance or other similar Charging Weapon with one hand at no penalty. A Jousting minifig can even use its off hand to hold a Shield, which will come in handy if he's getting Jousted in return.

Jousting Weapons
Close Combat Weapon Cost Use Range Damage Notes
Heavy Charging Weapon
(on foot)
3CP 3 CC 1d6+2
+ minifig's MOM dice
may be paired with Shield or Heavy Shield
Heavy Charging Weapon
(on Horseback)
3CP 3 CC 1d6+2
+ Horse's MOM dice
may be paired with Shield or Heavy Shield
Two-Handed Charging Weapon
(on foot)
4CP 4 CC 2d6
+ minifig's MOM dice
Two-Handed; -1" to Move;
Can't Sprint or throw
Two-Handed Charging Weapon
(on Horseback)
4CP 4 CC 2d6
+ Horse's MOM dice
may be paired with Shield

As with foot-based Charge attacks, the length of two Jousting minifigs' weapons can determine whether one side strikes first or if both sides' attacks strike simultaneously. If the minifig on either side has a weapon long enough to deliver an Attack at least one inch before his opponent is able to deliver a return blow, then he strikes first, regardless of whose turn it is or who initiated the Joust.
A dishonorable joust
Only the most villainous of jousters aims to lance his opponent's horse instead of the rider.
Elements shown: LEGO, Little Armory

Making the Joust Attack
Making a Joust attack is, for the most part, identical to attacking with a Charging Weapon on foot (5.4: Charge!); the Jousting minifig and his target have the same options and make the same rolls.

If the Close Combat Attack and possible Counterattack both miss, then the Jousting minifig will still be Charging ahead at full speed, and may end up Crashing his Horse into the target instead.


Joust Example: Solo Jones vs. the Black Rider
The Black Rider
Elements shown: LEGO, Mega Bloks, Little Armory
Example: Thanks to a series of convenient plot twists, post-apocalyptic archaeology smuggler Solo Jones has managed to abscond with a Jaw-Jaw coven's sacred Poo On A Stick. As he makes his escape on his obligatory post-apocalyptic motorcycle, he finds himself confronted by the Black Rider, a mysterious highwayman who kills for pleasure and has never lost a joust.

The Black Rider is a well armed and armored Rider, with a Shield, Heavy Armor, and Two-Handed Lance in addition to his Steel Horse motorcycle.

Solo Jones is an Adventurer Hero, with only his Steel Horse motorcycle, his hat, and the deadly Poo On A Stick (a Heroic Two-Handed Weapon).
Solo Jones
Elements shown: LEGO
Falling shortJones' Turn :
Solo Jones guns the engine, Sprinting and Charging his motorcycle at his opponent. Sadly, he rolls a 1 on his Sprint die. He moves forward eleven inches, enough to earn two MOMs but falling short on his Joust attack by a full three inches. The Black Rider laughs at him.

Steel versus PooBlack Rider's Turn (Combat):
The Black Rider backs up an inch to give himself room (4") to build up one MOM worth of Momentum. Peeling out, he lowers his lance and accelerates to meet Jones' Charge.

The Black Rider's lance has an extra inch of reach over the Poo On A Stick, so the Black Rider strikes first in the Joust rather than both sides striking simultaneously. The Black Rider rolls a Skill of 3 against his lance's Use of 4, barely missing Jones.

Feeling lucky to have survived, Jones may now make his Counterattack with his shorter weapon. Jones rolls a Skill of 5 against the Stick's Use rating of 4: success!

The strike does the Stick's Damage Rating of 2d6. Jones spends his two MOMs to add an additional 2d6, for a whopping 4d6 points of Damage. Before he makes the Damage Roll, however, he has to wait to see whether the Black Rider is able to Parry with the Shield.

The Black Rider attempts to Parry the Stick with his Shield. Jones' Attack Roll of 4 is higher than his Shield's Use rating of 2, so the Black Rider must roll a 4 to succeed. He rolls a 5, successfully Parrying the blow, but becoming splattered with Poo in the process.

The Black Rider is Shielded against Jones's Joust thanks to his Shield Parry, reducing the Damage to 3d6, and Shielded a second time thanks to his Heavy Armor, reducing the Damage further to 2d6. Jones rolls a five and a three for a total of 8 Damage.

As a Rider, the Black Rider's natural Armor is 1d6-1. Crossing his fingers, he rolls the Armor die - a 6! Happy to take advantage of his Critical Success, he rolls the Bonus 1d6 and scores an additional 3 points, for a total of 8 points of Armor - exactly enough to survive Jones' powerful Poo attack. The now Brown-Spattered Rider lives to laugh again!